Stocking up on Christmas presents.

Hot peppers are just nature asking if you really wanted to feel alive today.

Proof pigeons ARE dinosaurs. Look at the size of this mofo!

Something feels OFF today. I checked my settings and they were all set to ‘random.’

I came to Twitter for fun and left with a new personality and mild confusion

My day: 10% responsibility, 90% pretending I didn’t hear the frog calling my name.

Today I was chased by responsibility. I let it catch someone else. "Responsibility" is the name of that hawk that's been stalking me, hawkwardly.

I enjoy hearing about people's life updates, not a guided tour of someone’s entire luxurious lifestyle package on a pedestal while looking down on us "pheasants".

This is good newts! Congratulations!

I want booby feet!

This is a vibe rn

I'd like 2 of these please and thanks.

Tasted purple today. Concerning.

Something in the reeds called my name. I am NOT investigating. I'll send the hippopopoppotamous in.

Found a tooth. Not mine. Maybe Gerald, the beaver? Put it in lost and found.

The sky was a color today that doesn't have a name yet. I'm calling it platyblue. Crayola you listening?

Something left footprints in the mud that go in the pond but don't come out.

Found a feather that doesn't belong to any bird i know. It's platyblue. I'm keeping it.

The raccoon knows

5 moots to do the same and 5 things I like ✦ Making jokes ✦ Gardening ✦ Music ✦ Sunshine ✦ All animals Fred 🦆 HyperArid ☮️🚫🔫 burritodog Spork Lady K