not fight, not flight, but a secret third option (making a fucked up little joke)

if i knew how to back flip that'd be my response to everything

happy international women’s day to anyone i’ve met in a bar bathroom. you are all my sisters now

“has a book ever made you cry?” have you considered that i cry at everything no matter what

life is all about the 30-40 minutes you spend being goofy with someone you love before bedtime

I have this at work

"its all in your head" ok :) i live in there so :)

i don’t wanna “hop on a call” i want to hop in open fields with my friends and watch sunsets

I often take a few days to respond to messages as an homage to the concept of correspondence and letters

when composing an email, spiritually I’m wearing a bob

the worst part about being a yapper is when ur mid yap and realize how much you’ve yapped but you’re not even half way done w the yap so all u can do is apologize and keep yapping

Meetings? Girl, I’m watching the Olympics have some decency.

unfortunately i am not demure or mindful i am loud and stupid

being a human is miserable i want to be a tiny baby hippo who is allowed to bite everyone

you’ll never catch me being nonchalant. i’m a die hard chalanter. always chalanting. giving so many chalants.

They should do a Calculator App Wrapped where it shows you the dumbest calculations you did this year. Real moron stuff like 20% off 20, or 1x8, or 6+9

Oh you want me to work....in December? When there's sugar plum fairies dancing and chestnuts roasting on an open fire. Get real.

hard to find the balance between educating yourself on current events and not making yourself so indescribably sad that you can’t properly function