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When you watched Johnson lie every fucking day, you had no power. When you found out the Tories gave billions to their mates, you had no power. When your mortgage increased because of that useless twat Truss, you had no power. Tomorrow you have power. Use it #GeneralElection

#newdadmoment accidentally setting fire to a wooden chopping board

Our annual tradition of sacrificing billionaires to appease Poseidon is going well I see

This would totally work on me.🍺

MAGA's, I want to make this perfectly clear. I voted for Kamala Harris. But she lost. Your guy won. I will not be trying to join the "winning team" and become friendly to this abomination known as MAGA. No, I will be checking the cost of eggs. Daily. The cost of gas.

If you’re going Black Friday shopping today please be a decent human being and turn your phone horizontal if you record any fights

Proud to be the 306th 😎 on BackerKit @ Gen Con #1939 for ZX Dreams. Thanks @retro_fusion zx-dreams.backerkit.com/community_shar…

Trees up

non aesthetic things

internet hall of fame My wife said, "You treat our marriage like it's some sort of game." Which unfortunately cost her 12 points and a bonus spin.

yeah sex is great, but have you ever had a really good mental health day that restored your lust for life? yeah, me neither, take off your fucking clothes.

It's official: The lunatics are running the asylum.

So, Elon Musk, could you please share with your investors what you accomplished for $TSLA over the last week? 😅

Johnny Midnight ⚡️

How do I lose 15 lbs while also drinking heavily 5-7 nights a week and not working out any and eating a lot too