Still trying to work out how to break the Martin news to the hubby. He has a thing for hot cousins, ask Lola.

Tell me that when i’m asking him to kick his freeloading brother off the couch for the millionth time.

What’s all this talk about Sonia’s knickers? I know i’m gay but somehow I think this topic is making me gayer.

Fancied leek and potato soup but the fruit and veg stall was closed?? Not acceptable!

Fuck. There goes my hall pass.

Straight people will really just flirt while their neighbours are dying huh

Everything reminds me of him :(

I don’t know… probs the one who didn’t leave my husband for dead.

Just want to let you know Ben Mitchell🍆 that i’m only a plane ride away if you need oral support. Erm, I mean moral support.

If you’re wondering where I’ve been, Lexi had to do a family tree as a school project and i’ve been sitting in a darkened room ever since.

What’s this i’m hearing about a job opening up in the caff? I don’t need the money but it would be a shame to deprive people the sight of me in a pinny

You can’t even imagine the amount of grovelling i’ve been doing. Thank god the hubby is behind bars for a few more years right! right?

So this is why Ben Mitchell🍆 quit smoking.

😘 Ben Mitchell🍆

This is how Ben talked dirty to me when we first met

…. oops.

I know where Ben gets his firm grip from now… my windpipe is still bruised 😩 #PhilMitchellYouSaucyBastard

Am I hearing this right? Am I finally getting my sofa back? God knows I don’t deserve this win but I will take it.

Me and Johnny love to do a lot of talking. Sometimes we even talk privately.