This just happened to me last week after a FIVE month interview process.

Mary Magdalene was a witch. 🖤

Just had basically the same vibe of dream but even more wholesome and with a younger Rocco Siffredi this time? My subconscious is doing overtime.

I’m not so much of a misandrist, but more of a yessandrist.

A forever perk of remote work is doing said work half naked and be able to practice on my dance pole in between emails.

What’s the term for a male harem?

Enthusiasm and initiative is so hot, folks.

Hot girl summer: completely reject men who unapologetically jack off to their own potential.

Standing in my pantry eating snacks like a fucking squirrel again.

this is what women want

yelling "this is it! The one thatll kill us all" every time i hear a firework to freak out my 8 big stupid ass dogs in my horrible apartment

Is dirtbag femme a thing? I’m pretty sure that’s me.

No one: Taurus: yeah I’m a fucking Taurus

All my sympathy is for Palestinians being shot at by Israeli snipers, I have no sympathy for Trump.

Women just want to be the most feared witch in the village & get a little kiss on the forehead

“Indie sleaze,” including actual dumpster diving, was my full-ass lifestyle down to the rent in Portland, OR until shit changed drastically in the city and I could no longer afford it the way it was described below.

There aren't enough gargoyles on shit anymore

when a police man says hes going to give you a hot meal that means hell shoot you. the hot meal is a bullet. they call it Police mans dinner

A lobotomy & a forehead kiss would fix everything

Overhead lighting should never be used except for anti-personnel purposes like flushing people out of bars and oppressing white collar workers, a less lethal alternative to tear gas