I’m not sure who I’d like to see win at this stage, all 3 of them remind me of me: Xander and his steely competitiveness; Viktor and his boyish good looks; and Bryson and his massive brain. All credit to me.

Great to see Angel Cabrera back playing on the seniors tour, he’ll add a bit of punch to proceedings. All credit to him.

Congratulations Bob MacIntyre, glad to admit I was your inspiration, I was a beacon in inspiring a generation. All credit to me.

I’ve three US Majors more than young Bob. All credit to me.

Gave that drill a go with this Pad, and I think I’ve broken my arse bone. All credit to me.

#USopenweek #neverforget All credit to me.

Rory should kick Joe LaCava in the bollocks on 18 for the craic. All credit to nut crushers.

#crushed

This looks like a really f*cked up Wham video. A credit to protesters

All credit to Blandy, a multiple major winner like myself. All credit to me.

Only took him 50 years to play those two rounds. All credit to slow play.

Even though playing out through every major exemption that was afforded to me, it’s time for Tiger to retire. All credit to me.

As a proud British man from Scotland I’ll be supporting Spain this evening, all credit to me.

Hey Tiger, go fuck yourself. All credit to me.

I’ve been saying it since he won his first major in 97. All credit to me.

All credit to not retiring.

I’m not sure if I should be shouting for Crushers or Aces now. #themasters

All credit to me for being the inspiration for Robert MacIntyre. My performance in Winged Foot paved the way.

Good man Lefty, waste no time crack open a Tennents lad, you deserve it.

Ah for F&ck sake.