Basically every story out of the UK now is either “Retarded foreigner destroys 1,000 year old artwork” or “The government is banning spoons”

Oh, so now it's a problem.

The internet never forgets.

What do you think gangs will do if you declare under 16s immune from strip searches? Might they groom more kids and use them as mules more often. Might the abuse that results from this be worse and more traumatic than being searched.

A shower screen shattered all over my wife this week. Over the next 72 hours, the NHS got almost everything wrong. A cautionary tale of a system that is broken (with the usual caveat that everyone working in it is doing their best) 👇 I called an ambulance. All good at first:

If over half of searches result in further action, I'd say they're targeting pretty accurately.

Just got off a zoom call catching up with a friend of mine from the Boy Scouts who is now a bank manager. Told him that inflation has to be constant because loans create new money with interest and that interest has to be paid off somehow. explained that even the bank of

Imagine believing that the world's most daunting problem is climate change, and that you can tackle it with dancing and hugs. 100% scam.

If this graphic illustrated legal+ illegal immigration, every blip would represent 400 people.

Once again, "breaking" news that everybody has known for years. #DefundTheBBC

Happy Actually He Was Turkish Day, to those who celebrate.

Traitor

Happy inaugural Actually There's No Such Thing As Saints Day, to all who celebrate.

But don't worry, Digital ID will be safe 😵‍💫

In case you’re curious what government workers would be doing if they weren’t stealing from you 🙌

英首相「セント・ジョージの旗は、憎しみより団結を、分断より品位を象徴しています。 それらは私が常に戦う価値観です。 一部の者は私たちの旗を乗っ取って憎悪を広めようとします。私は彼らの偽物の愛国心を拒絶します。」164万表示4千いいね

Imagine a country where you can't make money from the clay in the ground. #Yookay

I'm sure Digital ID will be safe because reasons 😵‍💫

My latest cartoon for tomorrow's Telegraph Buy a print of my cartoons at telegraph.co.uk/mattprints Original artwork from chrisbeetles.com