We’re in #Adelaide!! Doing gigs and the like.. Fancy a laugh? Come and see us!! It really is that simple! adelaidecomedy.com

Personally I was kinda hoping they were gonna use a plane.. #covid_19 shortages hit #Adelaide #Airport @ Adelaide Airport instagram.com/p/CTMEZJEn_ri/…

Toon Toon Toon Well everybody say limadha naeam! #NUFCTakeover #nufctakover #nufc #NewcastleUnited #NewcastleUtd

Are you in #SurfersParadise ? Are you #British ? Do you like the #UK #UnitedKingdom Or even just want to barrack some Poms.. Fancy a laugh and some great food and Drinks on a Friday afternoon.. Click away eventbrite.com.au/e/brits-in-bus…

Asking a #Stargate fan to watch #stargateoriginscatherine is like asking a #starwars fan to watch #caravanofcourage .. at some point you’re gonna get punched, not hard, but punched all the same.. followed by a heartfelt apology..

In a couple days I’m leaving the Blistering cold winter of the #GoldCoast (24 degrees C).. For the apparent #heatwave of the #UK.. #Edinburgh is currently 12 degrees with an 80% chance of rain.. Now that’s sub-tropical! #edfringe here I come!

I’ll be in #Manchester #Airport for a few hours, if anyone fancies a pint.. Bonus- I can most likely sign people into the Business Lounge… #manchesterairport #homewardbound #Edfringe

I’m two episodes into #RingsofPower, and I’m beginning to feel that this is to #The #LordOfTheRings what “Caravan of Courage” was to #StarWars But as a wounded veteran of 7 seasons of #The100 I shall be sticking with it to the bitter end..

According to #Elon, jokes are now legal on Twitter.. i’m off then.. Can’t exist in such crazy times..

Off to The Comic's Lounge to complete my weeks worth of headline gigs.. it’s been a rocking week, only thing that can slow us down is #Australia kicking off at 9pm.. Howsabout #Tunisia just concede the game, then everyone can just come to the gig! #WorldcupQatar2022

Yeah whatever… Apparently i’ve got unlimited free speech now, can’t think of anything to say, and i’m happy about that..

From the 2nd to 4th June I'm Bringing my two favourite shows to the BYRON BAY COMEDY FESTIVAL!! BEST OF BRITISH (#MelbourneComedyFestival Most Popular show). And THE ASHES (#England V #Australia in multi award winning #Comedy) byroncomedyfest.com #Byronbay #comedyfestival

Quick impersonation of QBE Australia "All of our consultants are currently busy, continue to hold".. #worstcustomerservice 95mins waiting so far, 64mins yesterday, got kicked off the line by the system at 5.20pm, called right back "Our call centre closes at 5pm".. #JoyNotJoy

Has anyone got any information on how i can raise enough money to buy a plastic figurine from the Marvel franchise? (it’s for a Thing).

My Wife thinks I’m too old fashioned. But I reckon we’ve got good alchemy. #oldjokereboot

My daughter asked me what it was like to be married. I told her to leave me alone & when she did; I asked her why she was ignoring me. #oldjokereboot #meaningofwife

Kerr-Plunk go #Lionesses ! #WomensWorldCup2023

Do Artists still think they can get away with doing #Adverts in #Japan and no-one in the west will notice? Ricky Gervais ???

My little lady, belting out a bit of Taylor Swift #Swifty

Adelaide Fringe is bouncing, and this is my first tweet for almost a decade.. I think I'll now try and build an exclusive crowd of people that just dont want any tweets, and I'm old, I can't call them Posts!