Heads up kooks. awsm.com/16684/dear-eve…

Ugh, Saint Patrick's Day...try claiming Irish the rest of the year yah toolbags.

I would like to salute Pat Moore.Without that beard he would just b another sun burnt ginger with a viral marketing campaing on his lips

Shit, that was a long nap. What's everyone doing?

All I remember was a hot dog, mayo, and the feeling of being smothered

So who's going to the Frendly Gathering ? I'm not. Fug dat noise, I'm going to Cabo

I hear Chuck Ragan is playing the Frendly Gathering . Wonder what the hippies are going to do when someone pays him 50 bucks to play Trusty Chords ?

I just want to let you know that I am very close to signing a contractual agreement to represent Eric Jackson 's beard. #hairlipchinneck

Ugh, I smell like a used Craigslist mattress

...and I feel like Pat Bridges lungs

Whats up kooks ? Me and my bag of bones are up in this Aspen. There is more fur here than a Kardashian upper lip.

Hey Scotty Lago what say you and me go paint this town brown ?

The hardest thing about being on Danny Davis 's face is knowing I'm contributing 97% to his attractiveness and never getting any action.

All this talk today about under-inflated balls reminds me of this time sage kotsenburg won the gold medal....

There are only two reasons a mans beard glistens....and I haven't been to crispy cream in weeks.

Whats worse, me blowing up your twitter feed or grabbing boot on every hit ?

I can tell everyone what really happened to that hand...lets put it this way...that moose will never sit comfortably again

Ask me later why they call him "Jack" Mitrani.... #lendmeahandjack

Never trust a man with a glistening beard...don't ask my how I know

You know that movie Jack Reacher ? well its actually about Jack Mitrani helping release tension