I don’t care how much of a rush I'm in... I'm not driving off till my Bluetooth connect

Ian Huntleys 5% chance of survival is the best news ive heard in a long time

Everytime

You know who doesn’t care about personal space? Kids. Kids don’t care about personal space. They’d crawl right inside your eyeball if they could.

Nice day at out with kids today. The food was amazing 😋

That awkward moment when you catch yourself singing a song that you're supposed to hate

Why I turn my tv on 15% to watch tv 85% to use it at background noise so I don’t feel lonely whilst I’m on the internet 😅

Might start throwing lamps at people who need to lighten up 😅

Why are weekends starting to feel like a 30 minute lunch break 😩

Instead of ‘OnlyFans’ they should have ‘OnlyHaters’ where folk roast and take the piss out of each other but still make a profit. Aw you don’t like me? That’ll be £9.99 ya cunt 🤣

*Apple watch vibrates* Me: oh finally somebody messaged me Watch: “Breathe”

People who quit their job before they find another one aren’t afraid of anything 🤣

When I was younger I used to get proper buzzing whenever I received a letter addressed to me but now every time I get one I think “what the fuck have I done now” 😅

Work stress meets gym reps. Bad week. Good workout.

Stay single until you meet someone who makes you and your life better. 👌

Good morning… Cup of coffee to the start the day then it’s match day for me ⚽️ Have a good Saturday people 🫶🏻

I use Apple Pay for everything. My card is somewhere living its own life

🤦🏼‍♂️

Been a shit week this week. My last week at furnico/lazy boy. Worked there for 15 years and 4 months and today was my last day as I’ve been redundant 😞 gonna miss all the lads 😞 but new job on Monday 🙌 a fresh start. So I’ve decided to treat my self to some new football boots

You don’t realize how fast time goes by until you watch what you created grow.