Danny Kallas (@dannykallas) 's Twitter Profile
Danny Kallas

@dannykallas

I'm not on social media much. I'm too busy smelling my dad's underpants.

ID: 263190687

linkhttp://www.comediansyoushouldknow.com calendar_today09-03-2011 15:33:24

1,1K Tweet

2,2K Followers

679 Following

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I had my GPS set to "bus only." LGA to my AirBnB in Brooklyn took me four and a half hours. Got myself a 40. Tonight: Joe Kilgallon records his 69th album at @cyskNYC. eventbrite.com/e/cysk-present… Tomorrow: Hanging at Canal Bar. Bears.

I had my GPS set to "bus only." LGA to my AirBnB in Brooklyn took me four and a half hours. Got myself a 40.

Tonight: <a href="/joekilgallon/">Joe Kilgallon</a> records his 69th album at @cyskNYC. 

eventbrite.com/e/cysk-present…

Tomorrow: Hanging at <a href="/CanalBarBKLYN/">Canal Bar</a>. Bears.
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Hillary rooted on her hometown team against a swing state team in WS! 8 yrs ago, she would've said she was Tribe fan since birth. #progress

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Democrat or Republican, no one would've predicted a year ago what happened today! A football game being played at Guaranteed Rate Field.

Danny Kallas (@dannykallas) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Guy in bar "How much for that Hamburger beer?" I was confused, but the barkeep reached for a Hamm's with zero hesitation. I love Cleveland!

Danny Kallas (@dannykallas) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Hamilton is so good, Mike Pence went despite his severe hatred of gay people. That would be like Adolf Hitler going to a comedy club.

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You haven't seen pure sadness in someone's eyes until you've seen a comedian break down their tri-pod after bombing on stage.

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Mike Pence is a middle aged, white guy who's lived in Indiana his whole life. He's like John Mellencamp without any talent or soul.

Danny Kallas (@dannykallas) 's Twitter Profile Photo

Lady Bird Johnson got nickname at birth when nurse said she's pretty as a ladybird. Similar thing happened to pitcher Dennis "Oil Can" Boyd

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Liberals want safe spaces. Conservatives already have safe spaces. They're called safes. It's where they put their loads of money, losers!

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"Not all of the South Side is bad and not all of the North Side is good, but I'll just say it is for a cheap laugh!" -hack Chicago comedians

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Asked to do a show where I tell worst jokes I wrote a year into comedy. In other words, I got asked to do a show where I do my current act.