i can finally rest easy tonight knowing my Spotify Wrapped

only 3 sleeps away from seeing The 1975 🤩

someone in an elevator told me I look like a Hollywood star cause of my hair and ppl really shouldn’t hype me up like that

how many sneezes is too many sneezes to keep saying bless you

Yes sir I do actually know what kind of oil goes in my car

You learn a couple things when you get to my age

the prank emails are back

my brother signs me up for email subscriptions to random things as a prank. When really it’s just a minor inconvenience in my day. But is that the best prank of all???

I will always and I mean always consider Pluto as a planet.

him: you better not be cunty bella swan when i get there me:

tell me why I saw this this morning just as I was thinking news ppl always exaggerate eating food on the news 😂

If I don’t see a ufo before I die I haven’t lived

I still will never get over being old enough to like raisins

A concert ticket should come with a t shirt, you heard me

sometimes ppl be cooking food in the office and it be smelling like chef boyardee is cookin

“Hey Siri play Hallelujah from Shrek”

1997 - same dad in the same hospital after I was born. Chiefs Kingdom baby ❤️ Bill G Kansas City Chiefs #chiefskingdom

When your mom doesn’t tell you it’s picture day so you wear your catholic school uniform instead😭😂

Get louder 💁🏻‍♂️