Like this tweet for .005% of my company (this is not legally binding)

Morning peasants, no you can’t jelk in it, yes your mother can have a ride.

Keep working hard everyone 👍

Oh you’re in the office today?

Current boat discussions: oldest living thing, the Big Bang theory, life in space, 9/11, Antarctica

CORNY ASS PENALTIES FUCK THAT SHIT SLOPPY FOOTBALL MOTHER FUCKER JACK COCKRANE GOD DAMN IT

The lion got what was coming last night.

Melons

It’s like he tickled me with a knife. Keep it up

Its what they’re here for

The only thing spooky about this night is help

Well happy Monday everyone, if you thought you woke up on the wrong side of the bed atleast you didn’t wake up in Paris.

I’m not really into that soft core stuff tbh, needed harder

Straight up almost hurt myself yesterday knowing we gave a third round for Kadarius Toney and NOT BREECE HALL. Andddd I’m pissed off again, great

I need a palette cleanser; went from watching a girl get Eiffel towered to watching my GM not get Breece Hall. HELP

Announcer definitely got money on Indiana

Just ate a whole bag of dots pretzels and I may need a C-section to get this lump out

Double pump tech

To hell with any other torture tactic, just give someone a sore throat and a runny nose, HELP.

I’ll send $10,000 to any Seahawks player that hits him then removes their helmet and hits this face.