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〝 ... uh. 〞 spoken through a mouthful of donut, with an empty box by his side.

〝 hey, look at m&m, not me! they were going stale, & there were like twoー like one left! 〞 he's sweating a little bit. ... & he also just admitted to eating millie & moxxie's leftovers.

// because i’ve gotta stay plugging ー a reminder to hit me up on my angel dust ♡ CALL ME WHEN YOU WANT.. i’m returning to my first ever muse in the hazbin verse & i’m hungry for interactions, y’all.

📲 : ok MOM 📲 : i tak that bak my mom waz a bich 📲 : yud lik 2 b here tending to me wudnt u 📲 : feding me graps n shit

📲 : lisen its not MY falt yur lik 2ice my size && mov around so much wen wer fukking a short pause. 📲 : ok i got an ice pak 📲 : if i loze clints becuz i raled yu so good it thru my bak out, ill b xpecting compensashon

📲 : $$$ obviusly 📲 : or i gess u cud tak me out on a date he's grinning despite himself. he knows stolas will like that one. 📲 : u no 📲 : sins im gona b sitting on my ass NOT kiling pepl anyway

he's not going to say anything, but that one's going on the 'times loona almost called me dad' tally. yes, that's an actual thing he has. 〝 aw... i'm sorry, loonie. you wanna go out for donuts? i got a couple bucks on meー i can get you the whiskey bacon one you really like! 〞

well, that, & because he's uncomfortable with the idea of stolas taking him out in publicー being viewed as the royal's interesting little pet or accessory. 📲 : yea yea i bet 📲 : yur a demon ov CULTUR & evrything 📲 : thats IF i cant do my job ok? dont wet yur pantes

📲 : godammit 📲 : wel probly a gud thing u arent here then 📲 : i wud need a fuking the typing indicator appears & disappears several times, as blitzo tries navigating his way around the word 'chiropractor'. 📲 : back speshalist after that

& he bursts out laughing at moxxie's indignant expression, putting a hand on his employee's shoulder. 〝 that 𝗶𝘀 bigger than i thought, then! aw, don't worry, i bet mills loves your perfectly average dick. ... i mean that, by the way, i'm tryin' to support you here. 〞

——— ; 𝘎𝘦𝘵 𝘺𝘰𝘶𝘳𝘴𝘦𝘭𝘧 𝘢𝘯 𝘈𝘥𝘥𝘦𝘳𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘵𝘩𝘳𝘰𝘸 𝘮𝘦 𝘶𝘱 𝘢𝘨𝘢𝘪𝘯𝘴𝘵 𝘵𝘩𝘦 𝘸𝘢𝘭𝘭 𝘈𝘯𝘥 𝘬𝘪𝘤𝘬 𝘮𝘦 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘐 𝘩𝘢𝘷𝘦 𝘵𝘰 𝘤𝘳𝘢𝘸𝘭 𝘖𝘰𝘩, 𝘐 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘸𝘩𝘦𝘯 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘴𝘩𝘰𝘸 𝘯𝘰 𝘭𝘰𝘷𝘦 𝘢𝘵 𝘢𝘭𝘭 ⠀ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ⠀

〝 hey, c'mon mox! what, i'm not allowed to speculate about your love life when the two of you're actin' all lovey-dovey in the office all the time? which, by the way, would be a super no-go if i actually gave a shit. 〞 he's keeping it light, but his tone betrays... something.

〝 i don't claim 𝗮𝗻𝘆 responsibility for stolas being a huge perv who likes dirty-talkin' me in public. 〞 blitzo grimaces, remembering the many absolutely filthy phone calls moxxie is surely thinking of. 〝 i fuckin' wish we were like you two. mr. & mrs. married bliss... 〞

probably around the time they shared a soul-baring hallucinogenic musical montage. things like that have a way of bringing people closer together. 〝 ... it's stupid. i'm sure by now, you get that i act like such a stalker with you & millie because i'm jealous, right? 〞

〝 okay, but i get special privileges ‘cause i’m your dad, right? ... riiiight? 〞

okay, a little hurtful. but loona's a grown woman, she can make her own choices. he tries not to pout. 〝 well... is 'sweetie' still on the table? 〞

that's something! he brightens up again, reaching up to give his daughter's hair an affectionate ruffle. 〝 alright, sweetie! y'know you're always gonna be my loonie-toonie, but if you don't like it, i'll try not to say it as much. i'm always here for ya, don't forget that! 〞

〝 naw, don't be sorry! i get it, you're angsty. trust me, i fuckin' 𝗵𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱 my dad... as long as you remember that i love ya, i don't mind if you get mad. 〞 with an affectionate grin, he scritches behind her ear. how could he ever be upset at loona? it's impossible.

// another new account ahoy ー go & give him a follow!