You really come to appreciate the privacy an solitude of a bathroom after having children. #enjoythejourney #DADSHIT #lovethosemonsters

Realized the other day my son had been wearing the same shirt for 4 days. Slight parent fail. #DADSHIT #dadfail #dadoftheyear #enjoythejourney

First day of school today. Any one else get more nervous then their kids are? This is the first year I've had to send the kids to school on their first day. Only a mild freakout. #DADSHIT #enjoythejourney #FirstDayOfSchool2019 #mymonsters

Do you ever people watch and make snap judgments about people? Like "That guy is totally a serial killer " or "He killed someone today" you know, stuff like that. #DADSHIT #judgingbooksbytheircover #snapjudgement

Dose anybody else's kids find a way to bicker over the most ridiculous shit. 🤪 #DADSHIT #whyareUfighting #enjoythejourney

At a certain point as a parent you have to accept that you'll never SHIT in peace ever again. 💩 #DADSHIT #parenting #nopeaceonthetoilet

Been watching alot of PAW PATROL as of late. And I've noticed that Mayor Humdinger dose alot of illegal shit and is never arrested. This is an excellent example of Government corruption and ignorance on the part of the police. "GET IT TOGETHER CHASE". #DADSHIT #PawPatrol

If you are the type of person who throws your lit cigarette butts out the window of you vehicle. Know that you are a "GARBAGE PERSON". This was my TED TALK. #DADSHIT #nosmoking #grabagepeople

The most pregnant thing I've ever seen. #DADSHIT #babymumma #nachos

At work I was asked why I always turn up "Purple Rain" by prince? I still don't understand the question. #prince #PURPLERAIN

Buckle up, kids - second half of 2020 coming in hot! When the Pentagon says it has “the recent recovery of off world vehicles not made on this earth” you know shit is about to get REALLY fucking weird. instagram.com/p/CDB69xLl42-/…

Its Monday, they can all suck your Dick......You're doing to your way like Sinatra!

Namaste motherfuckers.........Its a beautiful day to be Alive!

That last round of pullups will get ya near everytime. #crossfit #enjoythejourney #makefriendsalongtheway

Its Wednesday.....Thank God for giving you another day to let these fucking mutts know.....that you're playing for keeps!

It's Friday kids just a few more hours and it's officially the weekend. Finish strong. #enjoythejourney

It doesn't matter how amazing your trip was nobody wants to look at your slide show.

Had a day to recover from #SpartanRace . Now it's time to get back to work. Get ready for the next. #Trifecta

Fantastic start to my day. #coffee, My Favorite Murder and some #forensicfiles yeah that should do it. 😁

#BritishColumbia your road construction is kinda ruining mine and everyone else's weekend.