I canNOT understand when men feel the need to “out-do” you when telling stories. If I hear “WELL ONE TIME-“ SHUT UP. Shut. Up. Stop talking.

When I’m a billionaire I’m sending all my friends bouquets all the time. Single,married, dating, all. And the luxury ones too. Not this carnation nonsense.

My coworker was talking to me during the entirety of me listening to the “a star is born” soundtrack so now I gotta restart that hoe…

u smell like pennies, pls back up✋🏼

Not the guy at the cfa drivethru TIPPING HIS BASEBALL CAP AT ME

I want to have an amazing house that is comfortably spacious and has the perfect balance of cozy and class. I want to be able to host people anytime and have a beautiful memory for my kids to grow up in.

It took us going all the way to Philly for me and p to go to Texas Roadhouse together

God knew what he was doing when He gave this Indian girl a mother in law who waxes 🙏🏼

Pedro and I just had brunch with Brian cranston and Aaron Paul. So 💅🏻

I hate my apt complex.

Im conVINCED some people are just wired to be the LEAST helpful they can be.

just met with a potential wedding coordinator and needless to say if anyone wants to buy mine or Pedro’s feet pics hmu. 🥲

Not my google home playing “FNF” while I’m ON A CALL WITH A STUDENT 💀

they found the man who released the Dallas zoo animals. Justice is served. 🫡

I’m so tired of working in customer service. This morning I went to discount tire and I asked HIM “how can I help you?” 🥲

These students are gonna make me start smoking cigarettes

D: do u think I have the ‘tism B: no, but- BUT? Wym but????

Hol on.✋🏼 they’re giving our BIBLES at the cfni graduation?? All we got was an email to give an offering to CFNI…