Some truths only survive because the night never speaks.

I may or may not text back this weekend. Don’t build a life around it.

People swear life is about love and passion until the bill arrives and suddenly everyone respects money again.

Spontaneous plans are self care. That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

The entire internet is just people launching brands and people trying to convince strangers they’ve healed from trauma because they drink matcha now.

No offense to polka dots and all the offense to people who wear them, but they have always given highly infectious disease energy.

Sept.

I know something delicious.

There’s nothing more dangerous than a woman who finally got enough sleep.

I can tell when someone peaked emotionally at seventeen.

My standards are the reason some people think I’m mean and others think I’m unforgettable.

Loose lips sink ships.

I know a spot.….a bald spot.

I dress like I’m about to either break a heart or commit tax fraud.

A bitch of a different caliber, but a bitch all the same.

If Audemars Piguet x Swatch turns out to be a glorified fucking watch on a lanyard, then honestly what the actual fuck are we even doing anymore.

It was nice to meet you. Even nicer to leave. Let’s not do this again.

Some coworkers are a workplace curse.

Some people are an acquired taste. You, unfortunately, are a public health concern.

The doctor made it home safely.