LIONEL ANDRÉS MESSI IS NOT HUMAN.

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Mexico using aliens to distract you from the fact El Tri tied with Uzbekistan last night 3-3 😭🇲🇽 GGs. Well played 👏🏽

“what dish you bringing on thanksgiving?” me:

While this man drives, the puppy sleeps on his mother, & the mother dog sleeps on this man's leg. If the word Peace were an image, it would be these Three on a journey. 🙏

me to bro when he won't hop on the game

Activating lifelong trust issues in 3... 2... 1...

Toni Kroos. Wayne Rooney. Robin Van Persie. Mesut Ozil. Franck Ribery. Arjen Robben. Gerard Pique. David Silva. Yaya Toure. Cesc Fabregas. Gareth Bale. Eden Hazard. Higuain. Sergio Aguero. Tevez. Fernando Torres. Zlatan Ibrahimovic. All retired, we are getting old.

🧞‍♂️🇩🇪 Zero wrong passes in first half for Toni Kroos. 55/55 completed. 🧘🏼‍♂️

You wouldn’t get it

Houston PTSD is thinking the lights will go out anytime it rains

Nobody: My first house warming :

Built for October.

No way my w*ng s*op order taking over an hr imma tweak out

If I bite into a donut and there’s cheesecake inside I might start crying tears of joy, and I’m not playing.

how do you fumble this badly😭