I just want to point out all of the misspelled Halloween costumes & altogether spooky grammar. 😫👻

eventbrite.com/e/comedy-night…

Therapy, Wine, & Sensodyne ** **my Saturday

A CANNOLI A DAY KEEPS THE SADNESS AWAY. 🇮🇹

Gorgeous gorgeous girls put in eye drops in the back of a courtroom while waiting to appeal a speeding ticket 👸🏼

Do not sit next to me with your oppressive Kmart perfume. Smelling like the Aunt that still says I'm going to hell for being gay.

Peppa Pig is a dumb lil thot

Sean Paul's 'Get Busy' holds up -even at 8am

One thing about me is I'm going to I want to piss in every field I drive past.

Pussy trees are almost in full bloom

Is it even a road trip until your underwear dig into your pussy lip?

Sent my bitch in the gas station for a ⭐️Star Crunch ⭐️

Alone in the club in my mid thirties & have nobody to share my impulsive thoughts with so figured I'd live tweet

I'm only here bc I get in for free and I'm riding a high from a comedy show/mt makeup is decent (why do I have to explain everything to you what trauma response is that ?

Comfy seat but I really want to leave to go get the earplugs in my car

Is the club really playing Sean Paul or did I eat too many edibles

I've been blocking my ears for at least 7 mins

I feel like my eardrums are bleeding & im leaving b4 the show starts

Shoulda just got pizza and went home.

Do I go back in or is it too late