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Lord Gove? Bin the Lords.

'I will tariff you. I will tariff you so help me.' Why Trump turned global finance into Peep Show. Read my latest article on BetterThanX.co.uk! Robert Webb David Mitchell Jesse Armstrong

“I voted [for] Count Binface.” Count Binface's manifesto reflected just how much of a “joke” the debate had become during the London mayoral election, says former political strategist and advisor to Boris Johnson, Jo Tanner. @KaitBorsay | #TimesRadio

Delighted to report that I’ve had my second full-page column in a British newspaper, courtesy of the mighty Daily Star. And for an extra-special Binface exclusive, give yourself an Easter treat and sign up to my newsletter, at BetterThanX.co.uk. Peace and love, CB x

Croissants; too expensive Count Binface x.com/alifarhat79/st…

Memories.

Count Binface Manifesto Greatest Hits...

Bargain indeed.

The Lib Dems and Tories are jumping on my bandwagon! Read the truth about the War on Speakerphones at my website that's so much better than X, it's called BetterThanX.co.uk. And seeing as it's pay day, treat yourself to a paid subscription and help me conquer Parliament!

Nigel! Game on sunshine. countbinface.substack.com/p/only-one-pol…

Bring it on, bitch.

I'm honoured that lots of school pupils are asking me to record cameos to thank their teachers for their fantastic teaching. How cool is that? You can get in on the act here! For all your intergalactic anti-Farage greetings. cameo.com/countbinface

I'm spending the day recording messages for the amazing teachers who've been preparing students for their exams. If you want to give your teacher a galactic big-up, come get me at cameo.com/counbinface #BinItToWinIt

Donald Trump: The First Man in History To Hoax Himself. Read my brand new newsletter here and now! At the site that Elon can't shadow-ban, BETTERTHANX.CO.UK

Dear Keir Starmer, Once you start down the dark path, forever will it dominate your destiny. Consume you it will.

Number of Celebrity Traitors contestants I’ve beaten in elections: 1 Grade that I will have Claudia Winkleman’s fringe listed when I win power: 1

Dear Keir Starmer, on National Talk Like Yoda Day, reversed your winter fuel policy have you. Too late it is. Voters' goodwill up the wall have you pissed. Choose Binface they will.

I see you, Sir Ed Davey, despite your cunning disguise. Nobody else has twigged, because you’re not on a jet-ski.