Time flies so fast it makes me sick

Holy fuck when did people stop learning how to knock on the door before u walk into a room?????

Getting a pedicure in jeans is ultimate negative aura

They may have broken your heart but they will always be the first to view your Instagram stories

The worst part about graduating college? Your hobbies become “addictions”

Thank you 21st century for Boursin

Wish I could say the same Doja

Being hungover and watching Wicked is my favorite pastime

The most consistent thing in my life is my protruding gut

Not wearing underwear at my graduation and deeply regretting it

That first bump post parents leaving genuinely will change my life

Post grad seems like a great time to start therapy ☺️

U know ur at a yoga studio in a liberal Midwest city when more than half the class walks in wearing Birkenstocks

Is there a witch out there who can cast a spell on me that makes me stop being attracted to pick me’s 😭

I used to scream the lyrics “your new girl is my clone.” Wow that couldn’t be farther from the truth🤣

The difference between me and my coworkers is that they will never know I’m wearing vintage theory trousers that I thrifted for $20. But it’s ok I love them anyways

Watching 10 straight hours of reality TV and calling it anthropological fieldwork

Literally why do people think Tate McRae has talent

First day of therapy x first day of my period x Halloween — have I mentioned I’m a witch??

Breaking up w my bf bc Id rather hang out with my friends