Leonard: Love is weakness and an evolutionary mistake. Rozanne: You are literally making a Valentine’s day card for Klein. Leonard, pointing their hot glue gun towards Rozanne: You’re on thin fucking ice.

Melissa: Have I ever told you that you cook well? Benson: Awww, no, you haven't! Melissa: So why do you keep cooking?

Emlyn: I'm usually that person who has no idea what's going on.

Klein: I think I need a hug... Leonard: Good thing I'm hug shaped! *45 minutes later* Klein: You... you can let go now. Leonard: No, I absolutely cannot.

Grisha: Hey, do you have a boyfriend? Klein: Yeah. Grisha: Hope he dies.

Franca: Weatherboy. (Derogatory) Lumian: Hey, what does that mean? Franca: Wouldn't you like to know, Weatherboy.

Merlin: How’s practice going? Gehrman: Terrible. I want to stab everybody there. Merlin: Okay, just don’t get any blood on your clothes. Gehrman: …you shouldn’t be condoning this. Merlin: Don’t tell me how to live my life.

Amon: Adam isn’t answering my messages. Klein: Allow me. Amon: I tried 6 times, what makes you thi- Adam: *replying to message* Hello.

Amon, snuggling beside Klein: You're the best thing that has ever happened to me. You're my star, the light in my darkest days. Klein, jumping awake into a corner: You fuckin- I thought I locked the door?! Amon: The window was open.

Danitz: I have seen a lot of murders in my time, and all six of them were today.

Grisha: Do you ever want to talk about your emotions, Klein? Klein: … No. Amon: I do! Grisha: I know, Amon. Amon: I’m sad! Grisha: I know, Amon.

Danitz: What’s your body count? Gehrman: Do you mean sex or murder?

Tudor: We have a problem. Solomon: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them.

Bethel: I wish to go to a graveyard, one near a park, during the night and scream. I feel like that would be therapuetic.

Merlin: I'm gay because when I was 4 I sneezed and no one said 'Bless you' and the devil entered my body and made me the sassy bitch I am today.

Lumian: Sometimes I wonder if I’m hearing voices. Lumian: Then I remember that’s the last bit of sanity I have trying to get me to fall asleep at a reasonable time.

Amon: remember how I said Adam and I were going to have a calm night out for once? Sasrir: yes Amon: well, we’re in jail Sasrir: *hangs up*

Klein: We need to get through this locked door. Audrey, give me your credit card. Audrey: Here. Klein, pocketing it: Thanks. Leonard, kick down the door.

Sherlock: You have the right to remain silent. Emlyn: I choose to waive that right! Emlyn: *screaming*

Jenna: *speaking Spanish* Lumian: I know, I know. Franca: You speak Spanish? Lumian: No. I just know the phrase, 'this is all your fault' in every language Jenna speaks.