Alexa, cancel my boss’s return flight home from vacation

If management could kindly calm TF down, that would be great.

Friday is my unofficial day off, but if my boss is asking, I’m working all day

Sorry I didn’t have time to finish the assignment, but I did have time to apply to other random jobs

It’s Sunday afternoon so I guess it’s time to either start panicking about Monday, or thinking of an excuse to get out of work

Going to add “professional meeting attendee” to my resume

Boss: I appreciate all your hard work, you’re a rockstar! Me: Hahahagivemearaisethenhahaha

My brother just sent me an email that said, “Please fix, per our prior conversation” and I just want to know who he thinks he is, but more importantly am I on his payroll.

I don’t know about anyone else, but I’ve implemented my own “Summer Fridays” and they are effective immediately

I just want to know how TF it’s Monday, again

Co-worker: Can we Zoom real quick? Me: No we cannot, leave me alone

People who call their co-workers without warning, please explain yourself

Happy bare minimum Friday!

Boss: Why don’t you feel comfortable being honest with us? Me: Because I don’t want to be fired

Oh you want to talk to my manager? No problem, let me take this off my plate and put it onto their plate

Sometimes happiness looks like a canceled Friday afternoon meeting

Forget “Summer Fridays” that isn’t enough. I’m going to need the whole summer off like I’m back in grade school.

My toxic trait is that I deliberately do not send out a “very important” work email to see if anyone will notice

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but before you hit that “reply all” button, ask yourself whether it is absolutely necessary to bother everyone with your nonsense

Working Monday, but then off on Tuesday for the holiday? Pretty ghetto if you ask me...