Corporate Menace Coffee Co. (@corpmenace) 's Twitter Profile
Corporate Menace Coffee Co.

@corpmenace

💼 Business in the front, caffeine in the back | ☕ Fueling late-night deals & corporate shenanigans | 📍 Roasted fresh, shipped fast

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linkhttp://www.corporatemenace.com calendar_today09-02-2025 20:37:33

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The only thing getting me through this 90-minute meeting is my ability to nod convincingly while thinking about lunch 😶‍🌫️ #WorkHacks #BareMinimumMonday (on a Tuesday) #Corporate

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If you don’t start every workday with ‘Let’s circle back’ and end it with ‘Let’s touch base tomorrow,’ are you even employed? 🤝 #WorkFlow #WinningWednesdays #quotesdaily #corporate #saveme

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I just woke up to learn I was hitting on the bartender by drunkenly telling her how I would increase her cash flow! Sue me for trying to increase shareholder value. #corporate #pickupfail #momoneymoproblems #dating

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Step one: Coffee. Step two: Stare at your laptop until productivity magically happens. ☕ #TheGrind #CorporateSurvivalGuide #MenaceMode

Step one: Coffee. Step two: Stare at your laptop until productivity magically happens. ☕ #TheGrind #CorporateSurvivalGuide #MenaceMode
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Starting the week strong by staring blankly at my screen and pretending to be productive as I think about Sabrina Carpenter performance at #BRITs! 🍰☕️ #espresso

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Midweek corporate bingo: Burnout? ✅ Fake enthusiasm? ✅ Staring at the clock? ✅ Deb from HR walked passed your desk twice to catch you on your phone ✅ #corporate #fakeit #burnout

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Accidentally told my date she should ‘circle back’ to my place instead of just asking her over. Guess I’ve been in too many meetings. #CorporateRomance #Humpday #DatingFail

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Coworker just said ‘Let’s touch base’ and I swear I felt my soul leave my body. Just say you’re about to waste my time. #CorporateMenace #MeetingsThatShouldBeEmails

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Our coffee is like your boss’s emails—aggressive, unnecessary at 6 AM, and impossible to ignore. ☕🔥 #CorporateMenaceCoffee #CaffeinateAndDominate

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The only thing holding my career together is 1) caffeine and 2) my ability to say ‘great question’ while stalling for time. #MenaceMoves #ProfessionalBS

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Would love to know what my boss actually does all day, because I’m 99% sure they just approve vacation requests and send vague emails. #CorporateLife #MenaceThoughts

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Pro tip: If you’re about to quit, send an all-company email titled ‘My Two Weeks’ and just attach your vacation photos.✌️#ResignationInStyle

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Just took a ‘quick break’ that lasted 45 minutes and resulted in an existential crisis. Back to pretending to work! 💼 #ProductivityIsAMyth