Just failed my last midterm, only one thing can save me.

What a kick

Brewery: “We have over 50 craft beers on tap!” Me:

My favorite girl crash out line is “You’ll never find another girl like me.” Yeah, you’re so right, baby. You are the only insane, spoiled, alcoholic, short blonde girl in the entire world!

If you look like this please for the love of god hmu

11am beers at Chili's

Ball game

I gotta stop fallin in love with whores

Courtesy of the red white and blue

How am I supposed to work when the bar down the street is selling domestic beer pitchers for $3.50 and it’s 80 degrees outside

real shit

today at work one of the younger guys at work (like 16, 17 year old) called me bossman and this image flashbanged into my mind

Playing clash at the bar > talking to women

just asked my son, 4, if he and his buddies have a name for their friend group at school “the dudes” honestly so sick

Fun little game where they both beat the shit out of me

What and the actual FUCK am I doing wrong 😭? #goodgood

“Hey I saw you at the tailgate last weekend and you didn’t say hi” Me: