Megan The Stallion

Lil Nasty Ex

When I got a root canal at the dentist, I got Novocain, Nitrous, Jolly Ranchers, and a Handy. Idk what dentist you going to but you going to the wrong dentist

Known as the big tipper with the big dipper🤞

"It stinks in here cause I'm the shit!" -Kid Rock

Girl caught me on my phone during the movie. I straight up told her I was cheating. Ain't no way I'm gonna let her know I still play Clash Royale 🤣

My junk is like a monster truck. Normal sized cab but boy oh boy down below, the wheels are humongous and oversized

HOW I EAT DA COOCHIE

We got London on the track

I don't watch porn becuase I'm scared I might be Gay for looking at any naked guys

Why is this girl with pierced nipples promoting this Jesus clothing brand

Okay I'll bite, who is this "Mr. Sosa" and why does Chieftain Keifer implore me to love him???

There was this one bar and they had a rule where "single mothers with tattoos eat free"

CNN is ISIS

My roommate just walked in on me watching Joe Rogan, so I quickly had to switch to the tentacle porn tab before he saw.

Aliens: You. And what army? Me: We got London on the Track

I Smoke Pot but I Don't Inhale

I don't recycle, I suck Cock

Did some drugs my dad's hitting me

Got hacked, my dad just hit me