Oh no I’m sorry u need to get the fuck up outta here😭 😭 I don’t do squatters rights

Isn't it nice how storms only happen on the weekends now? They never really interrupt Commerce. Got to keep the hamsters on the Wheel

Trader's Joes was so busy with people shopping for the winter storm that the genderless cashier didn't even have time to ask me what my plans were for the weekend

Convinced that Snowmageddon is a plot by Big Grocery

the concept of getting shotgunned by janine teagues

plow trucks ain’t doing nothing but barricading the cars

The worst humans on this planet are Boston sports fans who are from NY

we can both have hoes jus put me first

i cried over a situationship i was cheating on thee entire time #inevergaf

gunna really jus makes quarter zip/dinner date/grwm/barbershop music now smh

Can we just let the Dominican Republic form their own MLB team lmfao this is the most entertaining baseball I’ve ever seen bro

y'all are going to die

Jaden Ivey could’ve waited until it was pride month at least he was just thinking about gay niggas on a Monday

glad treveyon henderson is focusing on pride month instead of acknowledging the sins of stefon diggs beating the fuck out of multiple women

if you voted for him, voted 3rd party, didn’t vote at all, or used your platform to encourage others not to vote in the 2024 election, you deserve to be publicly ridiculed for the rest of your life and not know a single day of peace henceforth 🩷

MAGA is the only cult in history where people celebrate policies that make them poorer.

every concert feels mid after you’ve seen beyoncé live

did you know that in most white collar jobs you can just go for a 15-20 minutes walk multiple times a day and they just like don’t care

The problem is summertime feels so unserious like wow it’s nice af outside let’s not go to work lol