Macadamia Nut oil is probably the most expensive.

It's Squirrel Appreciation Day! I'm registered at Planter's Peanuts.

I'm gonna try that Paleo Diet.

At most, a squirrel is 5 shades of grey.

That explains why he is always sitting in an outdoor bathtub looking at the sunset.

What channel is "Squirrel Seeking Squirrel" airing on?

Everyone talks about Julius Caesar today, but never mention his best friend Julius Crouton.

I always bet on rabies. Maybe it's a squirrel thing.

For St. Patrick's Day I dyed my nuts green.

Timing!

You know the secret to comedy?

Please don't eat at Hooters. They objectify owls.

Conan O'Brien Hey man, I photographed your sperm under a microscope. Hope you don't mind.

What did you call me and my family, Ricky Gervais?

The Easter Bunny was my college roommate.

Without him, where would we be. #ThanksDave

I auditioned by never got booked for Stupid Pet Tricks. #ThanksDave

🐿? Seriously? A chipmunk emoji and still no squirrel?

It's #SquirrelAppreciationDay. You sorta have to retweet this.

#ILoveBaconMoreThan my nuts.