.TMNT comic cover x ❤️🧡💛💚💙💜 📚: TMNT #117 cover B by @kevineastman86

Me: *watches Butter by BTS for the fifth time today* Marq: "Babe are you messing up my YouTube algorithm?" Me: "Absolutely."

M: "I put the bottle in the bag. You can check." J: "Nah. I trust you." Narrator: "She should not have trusted him."

And on tonight's episode of the 4th trimester: I am so grateful for breast pumps. #clusterfeeding #4thtrimester #ppd

I got a decent buzz going the other night and went on r/relationships and commented "Dump his ass" on like 25 posts.

Why is it normalized for Congress to be allowed to go on a 6-week paid vacation, but not you?

COVID surging in FL again. My husband and I are vaccinated. I’m not worried about us, like I was before. If we get it, it likely wont kill us. I’m really worried about small kids in our family. I’m pissed at those whose herd stupidity has impeded us from reaching herd immunity.

Upset that a vampires on a plane movie is called "Blood Red Sky" and not "Mile High Blood." #thanksnetflix

Wow. They really phoned it in on the last season of New Girl, didn't they?

If you start a point with, “But it’s only children with pre-existing conditions that will get seriously ill…”, I’m not interested in what comes next

Kim Kardashian and Elon Musk on SNL have real "rich kids trying to buy their friends on the playground" vibes.

I'm too old for wine on Mondays. I kept thinking, There's a Tylenol PM and some retinol cream at home with my name on it.

At the exact moment I put G in her crib, someone at my neighbor's house decided to lay on their horn and I would just like some credit for NOT immediately walking outside and kicking in their car door..

I’m sick and tired of hearing about healthcare workers, cops, EMTs, firefighters and other frontline providers who bitch and moan about vaccine mandates. If they don’t care enough about protecting the public to get a shot, they should find another line of work. Who agrees? ✋

The rub is the Green Bay Packers QB presented his King paraphrase as if he was on the front lines challenging an unjust law, when in reality he was just sitting on the couch trying to find ways to avoid being held accountable for his words. Again. latimes.com/opinion/story/…

I remember when Starboy came out, there were some women at work talking about how the song made no sense and I was the only person in the room that knew the WHOLE SONG is about doing cocain. 😬

My boss likes to use the phrase "action plan" a lot and it always makes me think "action man" and then I start singing David Bowie in my head instead of listening to what's going on in my meeting..

"This tee-shirt is so amazing, it'll make you shit your tits." Marquis Arrr E Aga

I'm literally standing at the register, ordering a new drink, and this guy comes up behind me and says to the bartender, "Sorry, quick question. Can you change the TV to the suns game." REALLY BRO. YOU NEEDED TO INTERRUPT ME FOR THAT. YOU COULDN'T STAND IN LINE?

i get why ppl tweet about making soup. cuz u make soup and ur like wait i have to tell someone about this