Operator:911, please hold. - Me: stop murderering me for a sec we're on hold. - Murderer: k.

When I see a bruised apple at the market, I give it a soft hug and whisper, Who did this to you?

Yes, I know I can't sing. Yes, I'm going to keep singing anyways.

I wish I had a delete button in my life. To delete some people, some memories, and some feelings.

While in the shower: 2% Washing. 8% Singing. 90% Winning fake arguments.

I have a bad habit of assuming Ive annoyed ppl & it usually ends with me dropping communication & hoping they'll be the ones to continue it

My days are backwards. I wake up tired and go to bed wide awake.

my favorite outdoor activity is going back inside

I will never hate on you, unless you disrespect me, or hate on me first. That's just the kind of person I am. I give everyone a chance.

I just feel very ugh about everything.

Admit it, you've raised your hand in class to answer an obvious question so that you don't get called on later.

Sometimes people try to expose what's wrong with you because they can't handle what's right with you.

95% of my problems would be solved if I stopped over-thinking everything & calmed the f*ck down & stopped being such an anxious little sh*t.

Don't you hate when you buy a bag of packaged air and there's chips inside it? Pisses me off.

We stay up late every night. Regret it every morning. Then do it again.

Social networks don't break up relationships. The stuff you post on social networks breaks up relationships.

That moment when you drop something right in front of you and it completely disappears off the face of the earth.

every year I realize how stupid I was the year before

Girls need to understand that it's okay to be single. You don't need a guy to make you happy. You'll find that special someone eventually.

I would unfriend you but I enjoy laughing at your life.