My father just introduced me as being over 70,000 years old

staying up until zero in the morning

paint your father

i’m sorry i only listen to music with less than 5000 plays on spotify

*didn’t hear what you said voice* yeah :)

i don’t have any alts but i respect the hustle of other posters that do

drowning my naive son in a tide pool near the marina

A little stoned, I want to eat a fish out of the water like a bear

can i come over and be gay

based on a real double cup

beating my son’s ass because his password was weak

imagine smoking weed and watching an epic battle unfold

we wasn’t supposed to make it past 25 jokes on you we still alive

the summer i turned chinese

bowing to the walmart door greeter

ladies and gentlemen this is your captain speaking, i’m gay haha just kidding. if you look out the right side of the aircraft you’ll notice Mt. Fuji in the distance

tex signing off