*cranberries voice* in my bed, in my bed comfy, comfy

Robert Evans (The Only Robert Evans) I cannot recommend the audiobook enough.

Kids today love retro 90's nostalgia but they couldn't handle a true 90's experience like riding in a car with your parents for hours with zero entertainment besides NPR.

YES

Bow down Washington Football who doubted? I brought the victory cigar.

i must be julian casablancas the way the strokes got her asking is this it

LeBron is playing like he wants to win this tournament to give himself something Jordan never had (leaving Vegas $500K richer)

Israel Assures It Doing Everything Possible To Minimize Civilians bit.ly/4anIb6y

is this a trick question or

Getting Chinese food in 1830: Yeah can i get the Regular Soldier Tso's Chicken?

it’s probably this one lmao

when a pair of identical twins is like 50 years old, I get sort of annoyed. it’s like, will you stop screwing around? you’re far too old for this kind of thing

Walgreens: Certainty helps you feel dry™

big bird was obviously just a man in a suit. but the other ones were too small to contain men. so what the fuck