Have to log out for work, heading to Rome for a couple days, can't say why for but let's just say papa's due for a promotion!

I'm so pissed off I'm gonna jerk off in my car. Engine on, garage door down. #raceagainsttime

I did all this damn work for Andrew McClain and I still seen a DIME in royalties

Absolute pussy corrupts absolutely

Happy pride!!!!!! (I’m normal tho)

I’d ride those teeth like a #suftbort

My letterboxd is glitching out. I can’t log My Name is Earl

Instead of Lilo and Stich iv been pitching "Crotchjam and Itch" to Pluto TV. No response yet but I'll wear them down.

I thought I saw the life exit those eyes, turns out he just had cataracts.

If Sinners was made for white people they would just be playing Bowling For Soup across the movie

I invented a new high five where I hold on

Mulling it over durring Dinner, do pussys gape?

Every once in a while I like to take a look at my Wikipedia page and reflect upon my life.

You never expect the "make his nose explode" bet to pay off but here we are #gaurdians #MLB

It took alot of hard work to beat the highscores at Axis, BUT im officially the biggest weiner eater in all of Ohio

Rage baiting is what I call it whenever I jerk off to Mario Lopez’s beautiful yet infuriating body