the White House should have a drawbridge and a moat. why tf did we just cancel those things? nobody is tryna get wet and get over a moat

favorite tv shows 1. The Super Bowl 2. The AFC Championship 3. The NFC Championship 4. SpongeBob

the cowboys kicker should start applying to 9-5 jobs now

there’s a guy walking on the beach rn who’s like 6’5” and weighs 140 lbs soaking wet. he’s wearing jeans and carrying a ziplock bag of roasted chicken. idk just thought yall should know

saw the fedex guy jump over this big ass puddle to deliver a package so i said “nice” and gave him a thumbs up. he said fuck u and then drove away

little caesars hitting us with the “hot n ready” slogan not even saying it’s good either. just letting u know they have it here and it’s heated

He fouled out Middleton. He guarded Giannis. He scored 56 almost exclusively on twos. He took as many free throws as any four Bucks combined. And got no more than 15 points from any teammate. And played more minutes than anyone. I can’t believe what I just saw. — Dan

a guy got stung by a stingray while I was at the beach and when he got out of the water I told his friend to piss on it but that’s for jellyfish. so essentially this dude was just pissing on his friend

wait…John Wilkes Booth did WHAT???

I’ll have what he’s having

gas stations should have a bundle deal called the holy trinity and it’s just a celsius a think bar and a pack of zyns

all i need on sunday is football with my homies and all of us screaming “ball” every time there’s a fumble

Troy Polamalu on 4th&1

just pulled up to chipotle in a U-Haul and got double steak

the horse has no idea he just won

can’t believe lance armstrong took steroids just so he could make it to the moon

yo did Marvin Gaye ever figure out what the fuck was going on???

if not me then who IS the bees knees?

The Gateway is officially open. #BearsMightBeBack

birth certificates are hilarious cause look im right here