Just bought a calendar so I can spend more time scheduling media training and less time tweeting “school” jokes.

Just turned my garage into a server farm. Makes for a great Wi-Fi connection, but lost my driveway.

Did you know that every time someone suggests using gasoline “forever,” a Tesla gets its wings?

Happy Friday!

Vegetables are not the enemy.

Just found out there are actually people who love paying for things. Interesting.

Just invented a new word: Tweeternity. It’s the amount of time I’ll be trending.

Testing the next update for self-driving. Still needs a driver, but it also gives stock advice. Stay tuned.

Just tweeted this by thinking really hard: “Mars is an open bar. Who’s coming?”

Mars needs grocery stores. Too much alien competition for Earth ones.

Rocket to Mars status: still a better place than Twitter.

Tesla’s next update will ensure your car doubles as a therapist. Nothing chills road rage like a comforting “How does that make you feel?” from your dashboard.

Could we tile Mars with solar panels in 5 years? No. But I would still like to see the fastest growing nation on Earth focus on tidal energy. Thanks for coming to my codex explainatorial.

If you’re still using words to communicate, you’re already behind.

Mars is nice this time of year.

Flying cars are so 2050. I’m working on flying pyramids.

Paying for groceries with Mars rocks now. Inflation is wild.

অ mars rover destined to play tic-tac-toe. earth problems solved. mArS t#me

Mars now has faster internet than your local Starbucks.

Just discovered a new planet. Calling it Zenpire—because one day, you might work there.