A Newcastle fan spotted Mike Ashley in London this afternoon... 🤣

Today's money saving tweet. Boil an egg to perfection without costly egg timers by popping it into boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60mph. After 3 miles, phone the wife to take the egg out the pan. 👍🏼

Bored of playing the National Lottery? For a new gambling opportunity, try sending yourself £50 by Royal Mail.

NUFC fans, simply turn the league table upside down and relish in your team climbing the table every game and embrace the excitement of challenging for those champions League places week in week out once again.

Today's money saving tweet. Single blokes, only date girls named Natalie, Carol, Holly or Eve. Chances are their birthdays are around Christmas so you won't have to shell out for a present until then by which time they've probably chucked you anyway. 👍🏼

Today's money saving tweet. Take one grape to the till every time you shop, it won't register on the low tech/quality scales so you will get it for free. Repeat procedure 100 times and you will have yourself a free bunch of grapes. 👍🏼

Today's money saving tweet. Save money buying costly paper shredders by simply putting a few well placed dog turds in the bag full of confidential documents you wish to dispose of. 👍🏼

Today's money saving tweet. Parents to be, don't waste good money on expensive prams, simply take a trolley from your local supermarket. When the kid is old enough to walk, send him back to the shop with it to retrieve your hard earned pound. 👍🏼

Would it actually be too much trouble Gateshead Council recycling to physically drop an empty kitchen roll tube that's accidentally in the paper bin compartment into the bin itself, rather than just refuse to empty the damn thing? #boneidle

Strange how all these clubs are sacking managers, but none have this amazing nice guy Steve Bruce on their shortlists, apparently did a cracking job at nufc...

Haven't been on a bus for God knows how long, the very one time I get on one, some arsehole scumbag decides to see what happens when you throw a rock at it at 35mph, hitting the window in front of me and showering the passengers in shards of glass. Still finding bits in me barnet

Bit late to the party, but my official membership to club covid has begun... 🤒

When you lose your card in the middle of Costco with a trolley full of stuff .... 🤬

Well according to Evri, my white UPVC door is now a brown wood one....

#MUFC. Cue all the carabao cup final pic reposts ... 😂😂

Hey, I’ve been using TopCashback, and I’ve loved it so far - you should definitely give TopCashback Support a try. Now’s good timing, you can get £10 once you’ve signed up and used #TopCashback with my Tell-a-Friend link (I get a reward too). topcashback.co.uk/ref/clarkspeed…

Today's tip : Avoid the embarrassment of shouting out the wrong name in bed by having flings only with girls who have the same name as your wife. 👍🏼

Cue all the Chelsea plastics "it was only our B team" "it's only the League Cup" .... 😂

How big is your ceiling now Klopp?!