i love opening wheniwork when im absolutely shitfaced at 3am and just Praying

the Barbie movie and Barbie taking over everything is so important to me

fellas, are we fartin hard or hardly fartin??? 💪🏼

I need to fuck over forty thousand times in my life for all of this bullshit to be worth it

Fundraiser by Joe Cannella : Help Ferino Distillery Keep the Spirit Alive gofund.me/924c02ee please please please donate and share !!! Ferino means the world to me & the city is trying to fuck us. not saying it’s related to 4th st gentrification buuuut

another day another cops getting called on my neighbor

i have hate in my heart

this is extremely weird and Black Mirror-y to me aaaaaaaaaa bad bad not goop

genuinely can’t take being disappointed by a man even once more i will move to Sweden and start a girl only Midsommar type commune and finally know peace

i miss when the stupid blue app on my electric idiot box was just a fun weird sometimes frightening shared diary between friends ;-;

Uproot the evil in the fields that [you] know, so that those who live after may have clean earth to till. GANDALF. #LOTR #Tolkien

Colon Butt United States Census, 1920

need……. Smoothie And smooth brain

open relationship??? i Will literally open fire on u

Flaming Gooch United States Census, 1940

i love booking it into the other room when my roomba makes the triumphant “im done” noise like im a proud (but realistic and ready to be disappointed) parent

truly do whatever the fuck u want, i carried my ipad, a full burrito, a hot sauce, and a half a bag of Chex mix all inside a giant ziploc bag to three bars and not one eye was bat,,, do whatever u want !!!! be ziploc hag!!!! who cares