ggs

someone just bought a 6 pack of Heineken 0 and a pack normal Heineken. comes up to me and says “my secret is, i dump out the 0% and pour the regular ones in so the misses doesn’t know” different level of toxic lmao

a customer of mine today said “you look like someone who would be on Meet the Millers” and i don’t know how to take that

guardians of the galaxy is just the Sketchers of Star Wars

my daily routine is very simple; i wake up and i suffer 😤 always on that grind

love how snapchat sends me a happy labor day snap while i’m at work

about to go non-verbal hold up

what a miserable night, i need a cig

currently in a lyft, asked the driver “how late you going tonight?” he goes “i don’t answer to nobody” okay

can’t swim

hold up, taking some L’s real quick

living past the void

the only time i’ve felt worse in my life is when i was a manager at buffalo wild wings and ran out of wings

🚨HISTORY MADE🚨 At 3 hours, 45 minutes UIC has played in the longest match in NCAA Women's Volleyball history, breaking the previous record of 3 hours, 38 minutes set in 1998 between Hawaii and BYU NCAA Women's Volleyball | NCAA | espnW | Missouri Valley Conference

this halloween i’m going to go as a functioning member of society

just paid my roommate rent as his tip bartending