the spit strings 🥴 children leave behind 🤢 when they’re eating 🤮

having random dreams of hitting someone with my car. i’ve decided to take this as a sign that I should hit someone with my car

my real joy this time of the year comes from laying it all out in course evaluations

is there anyway I can get a handwriting transplant? the chicken-scratch that comes from these hands is not up to the standards of my thoughts

if you see someone from the radiology program wildin tonight, be polite and mind your own

starting to think that when people cross Hays city limits they forget how to drive

She says I wanna’ do right, but not right now

what kind of black market facebook group do I need to be on to get 5 gallon jugs of Panera green tea delivered straight to my door

anything can go in a tortilla if you try hard enough

took my car chapstick inside ONE time and now my life is in shambles

how

I love when I pass someone on interstate and they jump in with me like yes bby follow me i’ll show you real speed

#NewProfilePic

petition to rename all nude pasties ✨invisititties✨

today is 5/11 also known as, the actual height of every man who puts 6’ in a dating profile

forgot to post my swim suit pic today!!! i’m so sorry ladies!!! cc me in on the next email memo!!!

life was ~simply~ more enjoyable when I could have friends playing constantly in the background

this account does indeed make me happy

Sobbing. Fetal position crying.

Oh my god