#DescribeYourselfIn3Words Better than ANN.

Numerous executives of Galactic Biotiball Federation arrested for corruption, TV execs hope for Blasto led dramatisation.

Where are they now? We investigate the lives of the very first people Councilor Sparatus dismissed.

The extranet's hottest fashion blogger is a pyjak, and he's teaching turians how to dress. We have the exclusive story.

"What's the best thing about being a 998 year old asari?" "I have no enemies." "How come?" "I outlived the lot of those bosh'tets.*

Barla Von says the NYSE glitch has nothing to do with him, but it better have his money.

Disclaimer: All opinions are those of Shepard's space hamster.

Council statement condemns how commercial Prime Day has become, calls for a return of the true meaning of Prime Day.

Councilor Sparatus seen throwing wife's omni-tool through airlock after Ashley Madison hack.

*rapidly edits story* x.com/CitadelSparty/…

Miss Piggy has left Kermit the Frog for a more adventurous life with Blasto.

Showbiz: Jack has just been cast in the Prison Break reboot.

On National Cheese Pizza Day we ask: "Was that volus delivery boy ever paid?"

After #PigGate, Councilor Sparatus breathes sigh of relief over his own bedroom affairs. "This takes the bacon," says Council aide.

"This one thinks BlastoCon's biggest problem is everyone dresses the same," organiser says, "it thinks 457 Santa Blastos is 456 too many."

Sparatus storms into interview, dismissing our questions and the interviewee.

This week's Citadel books chart: 1. Pride & Prejudice & Indoctrinated Husks, 2. Lord of the Omni-tools. 3. 101 Ways to Airlock Bosh'tets.

Stephenie Meyer rewrites the Twilight series but with everyone as a pyjak. Critics say the cast has much more personality.

Playboy to stop publishing nudes, Asasi consort says, "well I guess that makes one of us" as she signs deal with Fornax.

Call of Duty: Spectre Ops maker buys Galaxy of Fantasy developer for 5.9 billion credits.