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I tried some different strings for my guitar last week. Big brand name, very legit company. Hated it. Sorry, ELIXIR Strings. I'll never look at another girl again. ❤️

When you blow out the 🎂 candles, but Mary got trick ones this year, and they light back up... HBD Cap,n! 🖤💛🖤💛

I’m about to be New Boot Goofin’. 👢

If you're thinking of throwing something on the court, dildon't!

first beer of the weekend has been,,,,,, opened 🤝

Welcome to Boone, IA. Not JUST trains!

Driving through eastern Washington my friend explained these wildlife bridges were built so animals could safely travel across the highway without disrupting their habitat and last night I realized the Iowa State bridge is essentially the same thing

Someone make a video game where you play as a spider in a house and you can go literally everywhere and build webs and eat bugs but you gotta survive the screaming giants.

In case any of you BULLIES even think about messing with me today. This is what's stuck in my head.

Tattoos dont hurt. Removing the 2nd skin the next day does.

To fill this massive void, I will be attending a number of football and basketball games this year as my alter ego, Hawkeye Drunk Man. Congrats to Hawkeye Elvis on his retirement. Thnx for the Memz. 🖤💛

Iowa State's gonna be so pissed

So back

Did Iowa Women's Basketball coaching fix the Cubs? I’m leaning yes.

"You're welcome."