“You must be sick if you still believe in the Houston Astros” Me:

Mi morrillo en el KFC:

if u having a Halloween party this year invite me or I’m callin the cops

See how I did you like you did me? Very fuck around. Very find out.

cómo que vas a pasar por tus cosas? si ya las subí a marketplace

I open my phone camera and 😚✌🏼😛

Esa gente que va al gym a las 6am y después a trabajar que desayunan? Perico?

That Wendy situation is giving me PTSD

October finna be so good i can just feel it!

WE OWN THE WEST. The 2024 American League West Champions

“and the Detroit Tigers are headed to the ALDS!” Everyone in Houston:

Este año perdí dinero y amistades, no saben cuanto extraño el dinero

Oh… these target trips are gonna take a while now. 🤧

Bought an octobuddy just to watch love island in the shower 🫧🫂