When Shrek gets angry, it’s often just an Ogreaction

Messaging back and forth with my partner on 2 different apps because we’re in different rooms of the house

Told my fiancée that I cook when I'm stressed. Tell me why this lady looks me in the eye and calls me a pressure cooker 🥲

Oliviarf is at the clinic now, and will be until this evening. They didn’t find any fluid, so the diuretic is working better than expected. They’re doing more testing now. Vet bills are up to around $4700 so far, but the $3700 raised is such a huge help with that.

Pupdate on Olivia Thank you again, we could not have done this without your generosity

Winnie the Pooh ass rat

I always did this too, but my anxiety existed well before that THANK YOU VERY MUCH 🤣

Because someone misunderstanding me is pretty much the worst thing ever 😬😅

Dang I thought his name was gonna be Braeighdynn

Donald Trump's continued existence proves mankind never masters time travel.

God: Jessica, we’d like you to meet our new angel. Jessica Walters: Who is it? Martin Mull: *takes off halo* Gene Parmesan, how you doing? Jessica: AAHHHHHH!!!

This feels like the when Americans call people from any other country “international.”

As per my last nervous breakdown

THIS

she is going home to make soup

Good mourning, America

Maybe peanut allergies increased because God cursed America for making Jimmy Carter give up his peanut farm