i think shower curtains are the strangest home category to shop for. you're either STERILE AND BORING or LOUD AND CHAOTIC. if you settle for the middle with like a light or geometric print then you're a 65 YEAR OLD WOMAN NAMED TAMMY

an unknown honor of being my bf is getting real time tracking information for all my packages for no reason whatsoever. i don't need him to accept or pick them up. i'm simply compelled to share. new ice cube molds? here! paper towels? delayed :( desk chair- arrivée!

my favorite kind of ppl are ones who own pets and sometimes you forget that they own pets because owning pets is not 90% of their personality which is far rarer than it should be

fellow millennials- can i humbly take a moment to express my gratitude for the fact that gen z hasn’t decided yet that truffles are cheugy

“great news! turns out the gentleman on the track was just taking a nap. closing doors shortly and 🎵 onwards to the magical land of Brooklyn we go0o0o 🎵” -my subway train conductor today

i happened to be walking behind a blind woman (as indicated by use of walking stick) and was surprised we were headed to the same destination. because that destination was a lenscrafters.

i am always a sad gorl on my bday no matter the circumstance it simply can’t be helped

you can be mad at me for a number of things but not wanting to switch to an inferior seat so you and your wife can sit together on the flight simply isn’t one of them ok

i started using grammarly. i'm obsessed with their insights emails.

the only reason why i haven't gotten a motion sensor trashcan yet is because i know i'm gonna hear that mf open up randomly at 4AM and convince me that my apt is haunted

i kind of think that #meta PM is being punished for being beautiful. i've seen maybe 100 day-in-the-life-of-doing-nothing-as-a-PM-in-big-tech tiktoks in the past year but this one blew up because we love to hate hot girls and tell them they don't deserve what they have

i just know my microplastic levels are off the charts but am i supposed to be doing anything about it?

there are too many gucci wearing people on this flight to Miami who are Main Cabin 1 but have attempted to board during First Class, Diamond Medallion, Comfort +, AND Sky Priority

i’m extremely proud to often be the first friend called in both these situations: (1) you need extremely logical, objective, even stoic advice or (2) you need to rant and want someone to jump in, match your energy, and deliver savage ice cold insults about a complete stranger

everyone knows chloe sevigny is such an iconic cool girl but *I* did not fully grasp this until i read an interview of hers this weekend in which she explained she doesn’t live in LA because the “light is challenging”

eggs are my favorite food this economy is tough on me

dang just remembered i have a twitter account

i don’t remember what adult spinach looks like