can I just get paid to sit here and look cute and sip on starbucks

my life is an episode of punkd except nobody comes out to tell me it’s all a joke and it goes on forever

I don't care how we met, I'm just happy we did..

Storms... #ain't nobody got time for that.

How much for some head? Just kidding I'm not going to pay you, I'm going to force you

A man received the transplanted heart of a suicide victim, married the donor's widow, killed himself exactly the same way the donor did.

I wanna go Swimming right now.

the funny part is you're not even as cute as you think you are