I am writing the perfect squid game joke. please give me two to three years to complete it. thank you.

Can’t drink the water because it’s all hot dog water

I’m so fucking cool I get my orange juice with pulp hold the juice

At Italians: idk I think we could have gotten spaghetti over here without a genocide. Just a thought.

It’s insane to me that the “Italian American community” is a legitimate threat to Indigenous Peoples Day full on replacing Columbus Day. Like who the fuck celebrates Columbus Day? And who cares about the Italians? Shut up and go eat some gabagool.

Comcare hiring for what I already do at 20 an hour but we can’t even get a damn pizza party

I explained to my coworker that she doesn’t need conspiracy theories by googling “haliburton profits Iraq war” and her brain exploded

Remind me to Peters 1914 a host on the event page for the livid show so I can delete fb today

I get way better with age. A year ago I was very stupid now I’m only pretty stupid. By the time I’m 30 I will be just stupid

In a new band playing our first show next week

My new band Social Cinema is putting our first song out on Friday! Let’s rock