Lol. This team is going to get absolutely rolled by Oregon and that’s coming from a nebraska fan. I will keep this tweet up if Colorado wins too. And this is coming from a 2 year old btw

Did a ton of research last night on Nebraska football and why we have sucked so much and came to a conclusion.. may surprise some of cOnSeRvAtIVeS but this is 100% linked to global warming.

A lot of people forget I was head chef at Pepperjax grill establishment when I was 16 years old. A lot of you still had binkies at 16

Damn… just got off the phone with Lance (not to be confused with Neil) Armstrong

Just found out some of my followers on here aren’t vegan. If this is you, I will be blocking you later. You are hurting the environment and I’m fed up

Always good seeing my close friend Skinny Joey (Thought Leader) around town!

I don’t understand why the father’s health is never mentioned in newborn posts. It’s always about the baby and mother. The amount of diet cokes I took down in the hospital when my last baby was born would put most people in a coma and no one ever said daddy is doing fine

Hardcore Christians will be like “you see that land right there boy?” Yeah? Someday that’s going to a gold mine then you go back and it’s a hobby lobby

Global warming taking its sweet ass time getting here. Don’t take me from 70 to 40 in one day.

BiDeNoMiCs isn’t working Culver’s at 5 PM on a Friday

Huge f*****n weekend for Jesus

You ever drive down the interstate on cruise control at 80 mph and realize you just drove ½ of a 10 hour road trip staring down at your phone and didn’t look up once. Almost a little like time travel

A LOT of people seem concerned about this election… funny how they weren’t concerned when Nebraska hired Marcus Satterfield after putting together one of the worst offenses in college football at South Carolina. Hmmmm

How I felt watching that NEBRASKA vs creighton game

Can’t decide if I should get my 1 year old a phone or an iPad for Christmas.. she’s extremely active and always wants to play and need to limit that. Any suggestions?

Think I just saw a guy getting fired outside of Olive Garden

Going live at 12 PM CST to break down Troy Boltons game and why I believe he’s the next Cupper Flag

Should I get my second fountain soda - Diet Coca-Cola - from the gas station to enjoy with supper?

Hmm might go to Marshall’s and get a deal on some shorts. Would you like that?

Nebraska had a harder season opener than Ohio state. Prove me wrong