my king

“This is my foid. There are many like it, but this one is mine.”

It’s called sliming out your day-ones and it’s a kind of pleasure you’ll never understand

He said it & he’s the perfect example.

someone sent me this absolute banger had to share it

>semi-literate tatted-up crossfit kirkwife (24 partners, 93 IQ), or “trad” presenting elite-educated cafe society partnerwife (73 partners, 130 IQ). Call it. >…what >Call it.

The essence of modern china is so fascinating. Behold, a technological sisyphus - not only will his arms flap until his body gives out and the pot drops, but his entire being, his livelihood, his life is trapped in an endless cycle of arm flapping. For regardless of how long he

"Most gifts you get for Christmas don't last. They get less exciting over time. Donkey Kong Country for Super Nintendo though, that game got better with time." Fr. Paul Truebenbach Baptismal homily

Kill a cockroach and nobody bats an eye. Make a cockroach rape machine and everyone loses their minds.

The thing about Pink Floyd is they take a lil while to start singing

female hormones? i hope she does

Being a dad is probably fun because you’re just smarter funnier and stronger than the people you spend 90% of your time interacting with (wife and children) and they respect and fear you (because of your drinking)

hey dude. I noticed your critique of the film lies not with the movie as it exists, but rather as a desire for it to be a different work entirely. your Serious Person card has been revoked and someone will be coming by later to kill you

greatest fictional character of all time

call em claymation the way theyre trying to Stop my Motion

"woah dude did you hear what clavicular said to tristan tate?" no. i didnt. i heard an ancient wind gently caress the reeds that lined a teeming creek. i watched and wept as a great chorus of frogs and owls and crickets and sprites raised up their voices to the glory of God

All roads lead to the penguin 🐧