Absolutely love the TV series The Change written by and starring Bridget Christie. It’s so relatable. I’ll miss it when it ends.

Out on my walk today have just wound up metres and metres of sewing thread found strewn along hedges and pavements of Letchworth. This could get caught in birds' feet, injure pets etc. It's probably polyester (plastic) too… North Herts Council RSPB RSPCA (England & Wales)

Joni Mitchell, singer-songwriter, musician, poet, painter, genius #WomensArt

I think it might have been done already, although not intentionally by A Pyxie Worm 😉 Would love to work with Brian Eno, but who doesn't?

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Looks like there’s going to be a rail replacement bus service today.

Each time I stay at Deepdale Camping & Rooms I never miss the chance to have one of these pizzas. Bloody delicious!

Thought I was watching the follow-up to The Curse (also gold heist, also lodged somewhere in my brain like a forgotten biscuit). Turns out it's The Gold. Different show. Same theme. Still hooked. Probably should’ve watched series one… but here we are.

Imagine snuggling up to a 15th-century aristocrat’s dog for warmth... warm, yes, but also snoring like a drunk uncle and smelling faintly of pond.

Ooh, now may glasses won't press on my nose. Okay… but now I have an annoying, hair-tangling band going around the back of my head.

Finally doing something teenage me always dreamed of: going to see Gary Numan live for the first time this November. Been a fan since I first saw him on Top of the Pops with Tubeway Army. If his Glastonbury set I watched on TV is anything to go by, it’s going to be brilliant!

No test #emergencyalert on my phone. Husband got his. Clearly, the government thinks he’s worth saving and I’m just here to make the sandwiches.

I'm glad they cost more. It'll stop me being tempted to buy them and then be disappointed.... again. They taste like cack as do Roses, Celebrations, Heroes etc.

Good. Too many people speed. I saw one of those speed indicators signs flash 60 in a 30 zone when a car zoomed past. And someone's been killed on a pedestrian crossing on my road.

Good grief. Now I understand other brands doing this for 'perceived value' tricks, but Lidl?

• Feeding it your existential dread • Bribing it with leftover pizza • Hosting tiny disco parties inside • Asking it to file your taxes • Using it as a time machine to ancient Rome • Teaching it to “sit” and “roll over. • Cooking soup upside-down on a bookshelf