Can’t wait to watch James Cameron win his Oscar and then walk right back into the Pacific Ocean like the last scene in Free Willy

Dance Moms get a bad rap while no one seems to care about moms who force their kids onto Food Network Cooking Shows.

Still riding the high of when I could do multiplications really fast in 4th grade

Soccer? Sorry, I call it what it really is. Round ball kicky fest.

I don’t use sticky notes. I’ve never used sticky notes. So why do I keep taking them home from the office? Simple. Because I can.

Writer's tip: You just want to get your project in the door. Sometimes that means pitching what the "execs" want and then doing what "you" want after it sells. That's why all of my projects are just the Michael Clayton script with the names changed.

I give you that quick dopamine rush that makes you feel like your life is actually in your own control. (by Chase Karpus) pointsincase.com/articles/im-an…

Unbelievable that the Michelin Man gets to decide the fate of so many restaurants

At this point in the corporate work week, please stop opening emails with “I hope you had a Happy New Year.”

Was it actually common to make fun of kids for needing glasses or was that just one bitter screenwriter's experience that proliferated much of the 80s?

Someone once told me "life is long" and what was once an assurance that any current pains will seem insignificant in the grand scheme of things really just feels like a threat at this point.

How I (a naive debutante) perceive joining a crime syndicate… Crime Syndicate HR: We received your resume, but we’re really looking for someone with two or more years experience in racketeering, in either a goon or coordinator capacity. It’s just a very high volume desk.

Excerpt from my memoir (if writer's were honest about their memory) At a bar, Josh (I think it was Josh) and I got into a heated argument (Well it felt heated. Could've been hungry). And that’s why me and Andrew (if it was him) haven’t talked in 40 years (that can’t be true).

You ever tell a story that you’ve workshopped so many times over the years that you can’t even remember if that’s what really happened?

Unless your work space is literally the international space station, I do not want to see it on social media.

Sometimes I write something called The Food Diaries. It's an even sexier take on NY Mags Sex Diaries. Check out the most recent one! thefooddiaries.substack.com/p/the-wfh-sale…

When people talk about a dystopian "robot uprising", they usually only talk about androids turning against. Guys, do we not understand how many automatic-flush toilets there are?

I like to believe that power walking from my desk to the coffee machine is considered exercise if I do it more than four times.

All you need to do is spend twenty minutes in a hotel room to eliminate any nostalgia you may have held for cable TV.

My tip for winning fights in your relationship? Deflect. When your SO criticizes your “flaws”, say things like, “It’s funny how you didn’t say anything when Netflix canceled 1889. I guess you don’t care when THOSE people are out of work.” Boom. Now they’re defensive.